oh life

So since my last post i have realizations...


lets start with the biggest one.....

yes i have a "Mr. Big" in my life... and i have tried to talk to him. we have both established we both miss each other. However on Sunday the message at church just really got to me. the jist i got from the talk is that don't worry about money or materials, trust in the lord to provide for you and he shall.... so while hearing that i basically thought, i would rather love God and be single, than be with someone who doesn't believe in the same things in life that i really do fight with all the time. I guess it was just God's way of telling me that there is someone out there and it is not my time to with anyone, or maybe it is and he is in the process of getting to me hehe. who knows.

Also i am aware that tomorrow is Valentines Day. i know how cliche of me it is ...but it is very annoying  reading all the "woah is me, i am single posts" , its like come on it's like any other day of the year, get over it haha. well in my opinion.

ALSO my Goddaughter Amira was born today! WOOHOO! i have only seen pictures of her so far. But i can not wait until i go to the hospital and actually meet her and get to hold her!!! i am so excited for that moment. I will post a picture of her in my next post for sure!!!

hmm. so i should finish my tea and wait and see if my cousin shall skype me..... oh yeah....
My birthday is next week YAY!!!! also.....................................

MONTANA VACATION IN 2 WEEKS <3 so so so so so so so so excited :-D

Finally February

It is here, my birthday month! nothing special just turning 23. School has started. I am a month into it so far. And i have only missed one day of classes so far. being sick sucks. that is all i basically did yesterday and today was sleep.

Anyways...

I have borrowed the whole entire series of Sex and the City from my friend amy. I am currently on season 3. I am pretty sure i have my own Mr. Big..... last 3 years... when im ready he moves on... when he is ready i don't want anything...but i think i am finally ready to see if this takes us somewhere i am just hoping   that this could be something nice? i don't know what would happen with it when i go to a different university or something who knows. but honestly i think for how much he and i have been through i owe it to give us a chance? i don't know i contemplate this all the time.

anyways. I think i have my top picks of universities picked out University of Montana Missoula , Minnesota State University Moorhead, St. Cloud State and University of Wisconsin Superior.

We shall see where i end up.

Alright here are some pictures of my life lately....

i got this rug at menards!!! how adorable it was 2 bucks! one of the best buys ever! 

 

this map project took me 12 hours of my life and weekend. i better get a good grade on it. 

and finally... photo club got sweatshirts!!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOO

okay i don't know what else to talk about ... unless you want me to go on and on about my mr big...which i know you don't so i will end on this note.... 

have a good weekend.... i finally get to be upstairs for a full service :)

Nature VS Nurture

So i have been meaning to watch juno since last night which tonight i am PLANNING ON IT! it is one of my most favorite films... at the moment i am at the near end of my art appreciation homework. and i got this very random thought in my head about juno and how i feel it relates to me..

being adopted i feel like this is a story my birth parents somewhat went through, but in different ways. So when i watch it i guess i feel connected to them... is that weird? who knows. people find some pretty weird things to relate to other people with. Maybe it is just my mind wishing i knew how my birth parents were like who knows.

Don't get me wrong i love love love my parents and brother i have. But i guess being adopted you are always going to have a different feeling than what someone else would feel. ( my opinion)

I was hanging out with my best friend and another friend earlier today, and we were talking... i think i am ready to fill out paperwork to figure out where i come from. honestly just even thinking about it scares the crap out of me. However  i truly think i am ready to know them or know of them.

i would say this quote is really how i feel, i had family member once tell me that i shouldn't even think of my birth family that i should only care about the family i have now. don't get me wrong i love my family with all my heart.. but being adopted is different... i guess it can be a hard thing to verbalize.
I just want to call that someone up and give them a piece of my mind everyday. I just can't i guess all i can do is prove them wrong. I can have both worlds. But knowingly my family that has been present for the last 23 years and 9 months are the most important people to me ever in my lifetime. I just have questions i want closure to.

This is cliche to say but i truly believe that 2012 should be the year i find myself. Discover where i really come from.

Enough of my thoughts for tonight ha. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. time to finish homework.

Marchin On...

it is now 2012....that is a little nuts but it is another year to look forward to. my resolution is to not regret anything. So far i have no regrets :)

Classes started monday, 16 credits phew. The classes i have i am so excited about though...

Intro to Philosophy
Art Appreciation
Intro to Astronomy
World Politics
and well just Alg 1 ( boooo) haha.

So far these classes seem pretty awesome i am excited to get started. Trust me i am so sad not to be in the ceramic studio or photography class anymore but Montana is calling my name so that means no more fun classes ( well in moderation).

Since the new year has started i have made a huge realization about myself and just people and relationships... it is hard for me to open up to certain people.... i guess besides my family and my best friend i don't trust people knowing about me. Not sure why. probably judgement? which i know i shouldn't care if people judge me but sometimes that fear gets the best of me. hmph.

Well like i said this is a new year time to make new changes ( for the better!)... hmm time to go read some philosophy and figure out games to play for small group starting in a few weeks! yup that's right i am fun coordinator! woot woot! hehe.

wow i thought this blog would be longer...sorry guys... i just i got writers block as i started. lame sauce. i should just start doing small blogs even if that means 5 updates a week maybe? haha. who knows we shall see.

Closer and closer!

I am officially one semester closer to moving to montana. i honestly think there is only one other person in the world that understands this itch i have, and i get to see her in march out in montana. my cousin Rachel.

Well i am home for about 2 weeks.

This first week is filled with seeing my camp family. Some people wouldn't grasp the concept of me saying camp family. However they really are, i am pretty much closer to them than i am to my own family, i guess that is what i get for working at buckskin for 4 1/2 years haha. So i am waiting in anticipation for the days filled with them this week <3

Also my brother is flying in from Dallas wednesday morning YAY! so i am hopefully going to get some good quality brother time in.

*side note i have a mint chocolate candle from Bath and Body Works... and usually i hate all things chocolate but this smell just rocks!**

Anyways..

Sometimes i forget how much i miss the cities until i am back here, getting to do all the things i love and get to see all the awesome things around. But i am super thankful to have my friends up north that distract me from having bad homesickness.

So far i have just one of my grades back from this semester but i am proud to say it is an "A" in my Sociology class...  :-D
 I am still trying to patiently wait for my other grades to come in. haha.

My best friend's baby will be here in only 2 months... I am sooooo excited to meet my God daughter!!!!
Little miss Amira :) hurry on up the world wants to meet you!!!

I seriously need to start photographing my ceramics so i can put it up on my facebook page and start my website. man oh man hello starving artist and college student... great combo ehh? haha

Well anyways this last semester was a great one...making new great friendships and learning which friends are great ( if that makes sense?). Next semester is overload for me i am used to going part time but hello full time 16 credits. Although it help me achieve my dream of Montana. I love where i am in life though with school, friends and, family.

Alrighty can't think of anything to write right now. I shall be updating more since i have more time over break. woohooo!

future job?

i was just thinking this... cause i miss having a kitchen i love baking, cooking and creating things inside and out of the kitchen like crafts....

I wonder if there is a job out there where people hire someone to come in and cook for them and make things for them... if so this would be a KICK ASS job that i wish i had!

Oh man how sweet would it be to be like ohhh my office is now *insert name*'s house today. but on thursday i am at *insert name*'s house.


like i said...kick ass!!!!

Life is crazy though but with school and stuff. the art show is coming up. i gotta go in early in the morning so i glaze some stuff for ceramics and all that fun stuff. Kinda excited to be done with ceramics just for one reason... i can dress cute and not worry about getting dirty anymore. lol. i know that is a conceited excuse but that is the truth. i will seriously miss it with all my heart though.

hmm

I seriously need more photos with my friends that i can hang up.

to apply to summer camps or to no? that is the question boggling my mind... cause i am not sure if i am doing summer courses or not... i was talking with my dad and our method we figured out was....

i apply and if i don't get any of the positions i apply for then i will just sign up for summer credits. Good deal? i think so. sooo let the application process commence!

I really should be doing my sociology homework but i am writing this instead i feel like i haven't written in forever but boooyahh i am...

I was just home for thanksgiving and had a baking frenzy ( hence future job?). I baked 2 different kinds of cookies and 2 different kinds of chex mix stuff.

i made some super cute reindeer cookies!!!!

i absolutely love them! 

I am now just getting the jist of twitter and these things called #hashtags.... i seriously had to google how to use twitter.... haha yes i am that awesome? haha 

Well i drove all the way up from the cities today back up to Superior. it was pretty great. I learned who my new driving buddies are.... Death Cab For Cutie and Adele.... oh yes. they know how to make me sing. 

seriously i am addicted to Adele. her music is so amazing and full of soul! i love it. check it out if you don't know who she is! 

Alright i think i have wrote enough for one night time to go watch Eat Pray Love and try to get something done...if not homework some painting. hehe. 

Sorry Sorry

ohhh Rooney ( the band) makes me smile.

Hmm lets see what is new in my life?

I am finally going home for the second time this semester for Thanksgiving. Sadly my brother will not be there but when christmas comes around he shall be around :) yay!

Rewind will be in the Duluth area tomorrow so i get to see her for a meal or some coffee... gosh i love getting together with camp friends! I was going to type something important but i forgot what it was...


Oh now i remember...

The Montana moving date has moved back, i am in the process of signing up for classes next semester and such, i saw what i have left to do... and it would just make more sense for me to finish my A. A degree then move on out. Also i am switching my major to social work with a minor in art.

If i knew i would have a secure job after college I would go for my B.F.A degree maybe even M.F.A ha. but all that would get me is working somewhere and doing what i love once in a while. With social work i get to work with the kind of kids i love and i still get to do art :) in moderation haha.

I am in the process of making a website for my photos and crafts and arts stuff... but so far all i got is my facebook page...  Molin Arts ( go like it hehe).

So life has been pretty awesome lately. So thankful for everything going on. Good and bad ha. After the next 2 days i will start blogging more i promise i am just sooo busy cause it is the last 2 days to work with raw clay in the school ceramics studio so i must pump out as much as possible.

Good night world.